The Gifts of Silence And Nature

The deeper I moved into silence and nature, the more at home I felt in my own stellar skin.

At the age of 40, for the first time in my life, I chose to go away with the intent to seek myself in the silence and solitude of nature. I was turning inward on a journey for which there is no roadmap. I knew I had to honour the call. I needed to know, to hear myself clearly, and without distortion. I wanted to connect to the sentient part of me that knows it is a part of everything.

I went in search of answers that I know exist only within my Self. Who am I when I wake up and go to sleep alone? Who am I without the expectations and limitations I adorn myself with? Who am I when my phone is turned off, and I have no one and nothing to respond to beside for my own calling? Who am I when I release, even for just a little while, all the beliefs around who I am, in hopes of finding who I am becoming?

I rented a stunning, seaside cottage near a lighthouse as my home for this experience. The symbolic light in the dark. I wanted to watch light dance across the ocean, sky and me. I bought groceries for the duration of my trip. I intuitively picked foods that my body craved. For 2 days, I turned my phone on airplane mode and only used it to take photos. The early rising and late setting of the sun became my body’s clock. I woke up and did my yoga and writing practices in the garden. The sun and the wind kissed every birthmark.

I went down to the ancient volcanic rocks with my ceremonial tea to greet the ocean and the sky. I drank cacao, the heart opener, as a storm swept in around me. Everything changed within and without, and I remained. I was alone, but never lonely. I hiked in search of, and found hidden lakes. Nature reminding me of the grace of timing, as the pink of the sunset was reflected in the water. I danced in the rain alone. Barefoot and barely clothed. Nothing and no one was missing because I was fully present with myself.

This experience, this moment in time, belongs to me. I belong to myself. As the noise of the world receded, everything in nature began to speak. The rhythm of the sea. The wind whipping itself around me. The sway of the trees. The call of the birds. The splashing of the seal as it followed the current of the waves. The scurrying of the red squirrel as it raced up along the old spruce tree. I could hear my own heart. I could connect to my own wisdom, and retake my place among the whole of nature. I cried, laughed, smiled and screamed with delight as a rainbow formed across the ocean. The deeper I moved into silence and nature, the more at home I felt in my own stellar skin.